Know Yourself

Sometimes our body tends to behave in strange ways when a big event is approaching, especially one we have been preparing for over a long time: a date, a trip, a presentation, an exam, or a speech. Arrhythmias, aches, fainting spells, lapses of memory, careless slips… anxiety can give us a hard time, especially if we do not know ourselves well enough. In my particular case, I must confess that I consider myself a hyper-planner: when it comes to a matter that is important to me, I tend to prepare every small detail well in advance in order to increase the chances of success. Over time, I have realized that my way of preparing for events can be both a virtue and a flaw. In my experience, when we plan an activity far in advance, we gradually eliminate most of the common threats that jeopardize our plan, but ironically we simultaneously assign a greater probability to infrequent threats interfering with reaching our final goal. For example: a young woman who has been saving all year to enjoy a great trip bought tickets for a particular season when she would be free of studies and work; she packed her bags, planned her itinerary, the places she would visit, the group she would travel with, the lodging and transportation logistics, all the things she would need during the trip so that the journey would turn out perfectly. It sounds complicated and elaborate, but surely you have had to prepare a vacation with the same effort at some point. Yet, a couple of days before her big trip, this young woman comes down with a chronic case of the flu, and when examined by a specialist, he determines that she needs rest and treatment—which is odd, given that she has historically been a healthy person. Another case might be that, the day before the trip, this young woman ends up tripping over some piece of furniture in her house and is significantly injured. In any case, this young woman is about to postpone her dream trip because of a seemingly unexpected event. I have also heard anecdotes about people who prepare for months for a presentation or a test and, when the moment arrives, forget everything—they even overlook the date or the place where they were going to do it—and end up harmed despite their great effort and prior preparation. There is no shortage of anecdotes about similar situations, and they only confirm the effects that a poor handling of anxiety can sometimes have on us. To round out my reflection, I will tell you a personal anecdote that made me think about this whole matter: During 2016 I was planning a trip. When it comes to trips, I almost always plan about a year in advance; that is, the idea probably occurred to me at some point in 2015, and 2016 was the year to carry it out. The financial situation was not the best, and I confess that on many occasions I thought about postponing it because it was not a priority; however, the long preparation time made the goal more feasible, increasing my commitment and my desire to accomplish it. Added to that, given the distribution of my obligations and the availability of the person I had planned to travel with, I probably would not be able to undertake a trip like the one I had envisioned back then at any point in the future—something that obviously increased the pressure to carry it out and, at the same time, exerted a great deal of anxiety on me to prepare every detail and to rearrange whatever was necessary to make it possible. This is something I have been used to for some time now, because I go on excursions to different places fairly regularly and I handle that form of anxiety well. On that occasion, however, it was slightly different, because as the date of the trip drew closer, more external factors sabotaged it or threatened to cancel it—so much so that it coincided with a season in which tickets to the destination we were headed to were hard to come by, and until the very last hour of the appointed day we were faced with the uncertainty of whether or not we would be able to take our trip. At that final hour, with tickets in hand and packs ready, a phenomenon of strange origin took place: a sudden, sharp, bothersome, stabbing pain in the center of the palm of my hand. During those last minutes I pondered the possible causes of that symptom: I had not made any physical effort, I had taken my medicines as expected, I had not hit or hurt myself in any significant way, I was in optimal physical and health condition, I had not eaten anything out of the ordinary, no strange animal had bitten me; my head kept turning the matter over and I could find no logical explanation. I even thought I ought to seek medical attention, and I pondered what risk I would put myself or my travel companion in if that symptom were the sign of something more serious. Finally, faced with that whole tangle of doubts and fears that began to arise in me, I made the decision to set out on the trip. I was aware that if the matter persisted I would be obliged to admit it and to address it properly, but I must admit that there are things that happen in mysterious ways, and that strange symptom which appeared so suddenly vanished the next day as if it had been a bad joke. So, during the trip, I had time to reflect on that event, and I came to the conclusion that we all, at some point, face some strange symptom or occurrence before setting out toward a goal. That strange phenomenon fills us with doubts, insecurities, and bad omens, and it even tends to be contagious if you confess it to someone who has similar worries—and in the end it may really be nothing more than a dirty trick played by anxiety and the stress accumulated in the face of a goal we have yet to achieve. A good deal of time has passed since that anecdote, and remembering it makes me laugh a little, because had I acted rashly I would have missed out on some unique moments and an unrepeatable experience. Finally, two recommendations that also serve as mental notes for myself. The first is to know yourself. A deep understanding of the nature of our body can guide us in critical situations and can allow us to overcome the real or imaginary obstacles that come before us; we mountaineers keep this fact very much in mind. The second recommendation is to create mechanisms that allow us to relax as an important event draws near, since it is possible that the stress and anxiety such an event provokes can end up generating reactions in our mind or body that end up sabotaging our work, as if it were a kind of self-arrest or—self-destruction? I suppose it is a warning that a certain matter has begun to harm us unconsciously, and the body reacts in unexpected ways with the aim of making us stop what we are doing. What our body perhaps ignores is that stopping sometimes means sabotaging our dreams or goals, which have cost us a great deal of sacrifice or work. Therefore, when you face a similar situation, do not forget to relax; if you are about to accomplish your goal, calm down—surely the best is yet to come. © Alejandro Guipe | All Rights Reserved.